Now that I’m almost five years into motherhood, I can safely look back at my new parent self and say how utterly clueless I was about everything. It is no wonder then that I was totally riddled with anxiety about what I would do wrong, or perhaps not do at all, in my new motherhood.
Well hindsight is a beautiful thing because now it’s just an absolute given to me that ALL first time parents have pretty much the same worries. Oh – if only we had all known at the time and could go back and tell our pregnant selves all these things!
So if you’re reading this as a new parent wondering if you’re the only one panicking about childbirth, or if you’re going to be a good mother, or if you’re going to drop the baby….let me put your minds at ease because a recent survey about the top worries for new parents by The Post Office shows you are definitely not alone:
| Top worries for new parents | Percentage |
| Worrying about freak accidents happening | 46% |
| Worrying about not knowing how to ‘parent’ my baby | 43% |
| Worrying about being able to afford to raise my baby | 42% |
| Worrying about childproofing my home | 42% |
| Worrying about other people dropping my baby | 42% |
| Worrying about dropping my baby | 40% |
| Worrying about germs my baby might come in contact with | 40% |
| Worrying about what would happen if I/my partner died | 37% |
| Worrying about not connecting with my baby | 34% |
| Worried about my parenting being judged by others | 34% |
Parents have so many things to think about and learn, it’s an amazing, but also massively worrying time as they navigate this new world. From nappy changing and making sure the car seat is fitted correctly there are a whole host of other worries that often the baby books just don’t warn you about, but that we ALL experience. So I’ve teamed up with The Post Office and their Free Parent Cover to share with you the worries I had when we first had our daughter…
First off…childbirth
Here’s the thing about childbirth – you can plan as much as you like for it, you can glean as much information as you can in baby classes, you may be as organised as you can possibly br, and you can have a lovely little birth plan that you may think you’re going to follow, and think you’ll just breathe the baby out – all of which was basically me! – but mother nature has different ideas and birth is probably not going to be much like you thought it was going to be (as I and pretty much every other mum I know discovered with their first!) and so you’re entitled to be a little anxious about what’s going to happen on B-day.
Know this: whatever way, shape or form childbirth takes – and yes it may be pretty intense at times – you will get through it – just like, all the mums that went before!
You will have no idea what to do with your new baby
Suddenly you have this gorgeous little alien creature in your arms which you have absolutely no idea what to do with, despite the fact you have read every parenting book and scoured every advice forum going. I remember being filled with fear that I had absolutely no idea what to do with my baby. Nada. But I now know with hindsight that practically every other parent is also thinking:
a) my baby is so fragile!
b) what if I break their neck?
c) what if I drop them?
d) how on earth do I put a nappy on anyway??!
Know this: We are all absolutely clueless (just have a trawl of the baby forums for proof of that) but the best way to overcome these worries is to give yourself more credit, trust in yourself and your abilities and all will follow. Also, sharing your worries out loud rather than letting them go round and round in your head can really help you feel less dramatic about the whole situation!
Will you even like your baby?
You hear so much about mums not bonding with babies that you could be forgiven for thinking this is the norm and I remember I was totally riddled with worry that I wound’t bond with by baby or even like her at all! Well guess what happened when she came along? I fell in love with her pretty much as soon as she was put on my chest.
Know this: We are genetically programmed to love our babies and well, babies are actually quite likeable thankfully! It may take a few days or even week for everything to sink but even if you’re not massively maternal fast forward and I’m pretty confident you wouldn’t want to give back your baby for the world. Trusting in human processes is a biggie here!
Being a good mum
There are so many ridiculous images of what motherhood looks like passed on to us from films, magazines and social media that it’s no wonder that pretty much every woman is angsting over whether they are going to be a good enough mum. Myself included! I remember being tormented by thoughts I wasn’t going to be a good mum thanks to society which has put a lot of pressure on mums to look and be a certain way. And then there’s the whole fear that your parenting is being judged by others. Arghhh!
Know this: As long as your baby is happy, healthy, clean and safe you’re doing a great job! Plus – babies have a habit of causing a scene out in public. That’s what babies do – cry. If in doubt, speak to friends and family about how you feel – you’ll usually feel a lot better afterwards!
OMG what if?????!
I remember being absolutely haunted by visions of all the things that could go wrong or that I could screw up with my baby on a daily basis, it’s a wonder that I ever left the house! What if I break my baby? What if someone else breaks my baby? What if I forget my baby somewhere because I feel like a mombie? What if they have a freak accident in the house? You name it, new parents have thought it.
Know this: Firstly – babies are a lot more hold-able than you realise and are actually more durable than you think. Thankfully people usually notice a baby has been left somewhere (even if you don’t) and as for emergencies – well life with a baby isn’t usually that dramatic (oh apart from the constant sleep deprivation). But baby-proofing your home and generally doing a bit of googling around how to prevent baby accidents and taking the necessary steps to avoid these will put your mind at ease.
Germ phobia
Germs germs everywhere – I remember giving dagger eyes to anyone that even sneezed within arms reach of my baby. Not another cold signalling countless sleepless nights staying up with a bunged up baby and don’t even get me started on the tummy bugs! As a new parent, I remember being totally germaphobic and would avoid anyone with any sign of illness like they had the plague. Oh the folly!
Know this: Babies get on average 7 to 12 colds a year plus a few other viruses and tummy bugs thrown into the mix so while having an ill baby absolutely sucks, just think about how strong their immune system is going to be! Having said that the illnesses can at times seem never ending. If you’re truly worried, speaking to your doctor or nurse usually helps to put your mind at ease.
Being fearful of even the most basic tasks
To a seasoned parent, changing nappies can seem like an absolute doddle. To a new parent, changing a nappy can leave you sweating bullets. I remember being totally fearful of having to change my daughter’s nappy every single time. What would I find in there? Would it be another poonami? Why on earth has it got those weird bits in it? It seemed like every time I changed a nappy it would present a new challenge or worry. Forget night nannies – someone should start a business in nappy nannies! I for one would be fully on board with that – outsourcing nappies…yes please! And then there was bath time – I was so terrified of bathing her I made my partner do it for the first few weeks!
Know this: changing stinky nappies is never enjoyable but hurrah! practice makes perfect and you do get better it over time…meaning that even if they do have an epic explosion down there, you will at least have developed the necessary nappy skills to contain it safely…for a while at least. As for bathing as baby gets bigger and stronger it gets a lot easier – and more fun!
So you see, all these kind of worries are totally normal and in fact, if we all talk about and share them, then it’s out there in the open for everyone to see and realise. Thankfully the Post Office has a brilliant product called Free Parent Cover which give parents Life Insurance to the value of £15,000 per child for one year absolutely free to help take some of the worry out of being a new parent.
Both parents can use this product each time they have a child up to a limit of eight children and can take advantage of the offer up until their child’s 4th birthday. So, for example, if you’ve three children under four and two parents take out a policy, you’ll get £45,000 of cover each free for a year. And if two parents have the maximum eight children and each take out a policy, that’s £120,000 of cover each.as an option to give them peace of mind. Many parents are unaware of this product and it’s totally free, so if you’re a new parent, why not take advantage of it?
Find out more about The Post Office’s Free Parent Life Cover.
Are you a parent to be or perhaps a new parent? What are you worried about? Or if you’re a seasoned parent what words of wisdom would you offer new and expecting parents reading this? Do leave a comment and share your experiences. And if you’re considering taking out a life insurance policy why not read this post on the top 5 considerations for taking out a life insurance policy.
***If the sentiments in this post resonated with you please do give it a share on your social channels to help get this conversation out in the open.***
*This is a commissioned post
Omg the bath time fear! They are slippy little suckers! This is spot on Talya. I think ths whole “your a natural” is so damaging when we are all clueless!
What a really interesting list. I’m sure these worried are common for 99% of parents so it just shows how normal it is to worry about such things
This is such a comforting read for anyone who’s a new parent. I remember worrying about many of these things myself (still do sometimes!). x
Lol. I definitely worried about the freak accidents! I thought I was the only one! Motherhood has definitely changed me, and opened up my mind, and made me want to be a better person. For it’s not what we say but what we do that our kids model after. Loved this article.
Oh brings it all back! I was really worried about baby proofing the house. It is funny what some people worry about x
So much love for this post! When I had my first I was riddled with fear. We had a traumatic birth and were told to prepare for the worst and she turned out fine. Instead of being able to relax, I spent the first 6 months gripped by a fear that something was going to go wrong again and worrying that they had missed something. At the time I thought I was losing my mind, but looking back I realise it was a very normal response to what we had all been through. This is such a reassuring post and this and the Post Office survey will really help new mums.
This is such a thoughtful and comforting read! I have such an appreciation for all parents.
This is a really great article and really helpful for new parents. I think it highlights that some of the worries we get as parents are really normal.
This is going to be such a great read for so many new parents x
I worried about so much as a new parent. Now I am about to have a 16 year old and it feels so long ago that I had all of these worries.
I used to worry about the same things when my babies were younger. It’s really something you can’t take away even when they’re all grown up. I can relate to everything that you said.
Oh gosh I would be super terrified to take the kid home from the hospital because I would definitely be the ‘what if this happens’ person.
Yes to all of these things listed! Now as a mom of a 14 and 12 year old it seems so silly that I wasted that time in worry.
oh gosh i remember having so many fears first time round, and that first bath is just awful as you never know how to hold and support and wash and not drop them…and … and …. lol
I think we all worry about these especially the first time around. I was terrified of breaking my baby – they’re so teeny when they are born. I’m still not keen to hold others babies in case this happens and I’ve now had 3 of my own!!!
So true! I remember when I was a new mom, I worried a lot about most of these things and I still do now but I’m a bit more relaxed. 🙂
Oh the worries! I remember the days! But I still do a lot of it now though. Everytime my son gets sick I freak out and go through every symptom and all it is is a cold. lol! I can’t believe the judgy parent thing is even a thing!
But the best part of all the worrying is that it helps us learn from them! Every bad experience can be scary but they can also be a way to learn for the future.
This was a light yet great read. I could so much relate every small worry and memories of my baby, who is now a preschooler. I couldn’t even pick him up when he was born out of the thoughts “How, what if”. But my mom helped me tons.
It doesn’t change after the first baby either, even though you know what you are doing LOL
Gosh so many of these worries are relatable!! Brilliant post, a great one to share with new parents!
That’s very true, we mothers we worry all the time, when they are babies, toddlers, older kids and believe me it doesn’t get any better. Now I have two teenagers at home and i worry: if they are good people, if they are happy at school, if they study too much, or if they study not enough, or if other people won’t hurt them. Mother’s life is not easy
It sounds like so many people agree with – and how worried we all were when we first became parents! It’s great to hear everyone’s experiences because I think if we share it makes us all feel a lot more ok about our worries – which are totally normal and natural! x
Parenting and thinking about what to do as a new parent is tough. But one thing you have to remember is that it will all be ok and you wing it in the end, I know I still am lol!
Parenting is so tricky. I had all sort of fears as a new parent.
I am not yet a mother but I am already stressed out about it lol Parenting seems to be is a huge task but so rewarding. I am sharing this with my brother and sister in law who are about to be new parents next month
Those stats are really interesting – especially that the top worry was freak accidents. I bet when I’m a mum I will worry abut everything!!
This was definitely travelling back in time for me! Nice post 🙂
#CoolMumClub
These are all soo true, I remember being petrified of accidentally hitting my daughter’s head on the table even though we never went anywhere near it!! Such a comforting post for new mums to remind them were all the same #coolmumclub xx
Wow, it’s funny looking back and thinking about the thinks that seemed so scary back then that we wouldn’t bat an eyelid at now. For me, I was worried about liking my second child as much as my first. How could I have the same feelings for a stranger as I did for the almost-three-year-old that I’d known for so long? I was so relieved when a friend who already had two kids just flatly said “you won’t”! She told me it would take a little while, just a few weeks, before I had the same understanding and connection with the new one. And she was right. It’s so great when people are honest about this stuff! #coolmumclub
It’s just a shame those worries turn into different worries as they get older. I dont think I’ll ever stop worrying about my kids #coolmumclub
I had to stay off the news. There is always that one freak story that I was convinced would happen to my kiddo. #cooolmumclub
I am SUCH a worrier when it comes to my kids and whilst I don’t want my anxieties to rub off on them, I do sometimes wrap them in cotton wool out of fear of freak accidents happening! I think worrying about our children is completely normal and never ever goes away! #coolmumclub
number 8 was always top of my worry list! #coolmumclub
Oh gosh we worry far too much don’t we?! I have to admit there was so much I was worried and anxious first time around. Less so this time, but def a little worried of the unknown and I feel very out of practise. Most importantly though I have a lot of faith and confidence in myself and my abilities because I’ve been doing it for eight years nearly! #CoolMumClub
Lovely post and I think every mum can relate. #coolmumclub
Eek… I don’t think you will ever forget the first time being a parent. Such a scary time, I have nodding along to most of them worries. I was obsessed with cot death and constantly checking my son’s breathing and making sure that he was right at the bottom of the cot. X #coolmumclub
I remember lying in the bath a few days after my eldest was born and just feeling a wave of panic that I was responsible for keeping him alive… fortunately we managed and he is now 7 #coolmumclub
Even growing up as a teen around FOUR baby half brothers and sisters I was fine with the practical stuff, but the emotional side hit me like a bus. I worried about EVERYTHING! I still do! Thankfully, not half as much as those first days of motherhood…
That post office deal is amazing – wish I’d had that chance when the girls were tiny. One less thing to worry about.
Thanks for being the voice of reason as always! #CoolMumClub forever
Popping back in again really love how everyone is finding this so relatable x
For me, parenting is best summed up by worry and guilt. I have worried about all of the things in your list – in a slightly different order perhaps, but worries nonetheless. Pen x #coolmumclub
For me I ws so worried about childbirth the rest didn’t hit me until he was here! So comforting for new parents to realise worrying is normal!
I don’t think I would have believed what it was like to give birth and have kids even if I’d been told! There are so many things to worry about and so much love as well #coolmumclub
As a first time parent it can be overwhelming. I recall reading a lot of baby magazines and books but I don’t think my girls listened to them as they nestled in my tummy. They both have minds of their own and continue to do so today. #coolmumclub
Such a great post, very reassuring. It’s crazy how the top concern of parents is things that may never happen – ie freak accidents!! #coolmumclub