To the mum whose child is having a tantrum

child is having a tantrum

Dear mum who child is currently wailing like a banshee whilst having a tantrum….

I know how you feel…you wish the ground would swallow you up at that very moment as you wonder….my God…is that really my child? But fret not, becausewe’ve all been there and anyone who says that haven’t is a big fat liar.

You’re worried that the other unsuspecting customers at Tesco are judging you …that you’re ruining everyone’s coffee in Costa…and that the whole train or everyone on the plane you happen to be on would rather jump out the window then inhabit the space your tantruming child is in.

It feels like this moment will last forever…you curse under your breath as you suppress the urge to yell at the top of your lungs….”for f***’s sake!!!*** or perhaps you just let it all out and absolutely lose your s*** because you just have had enough for one day and your mum cup is empty and either way, it’s fine.

The thing is – who cares if others are having to be mildly inconvenienced by being subjected to your child’s tantrum? For them, it’s only a moment in time. For you, this is quite likely your life right now.

Do what you need to go to get your through this tantrum…and the next…whatever that may be. The people who you think are judging you…sure maybe they are…or maybe it’s you judging yourself as a mum in which case stop right now!

Every time your child has a tantrum you know the thing to do? It’s not to beat yourself up but give yourself a break. Because the chances are that all the people around you in the hellish moment when your child appears to have turned into the devil and you are profusely sweating bullets is that everyone here has either probably has delivered a tantrum like that in their time and/or had a child who has subjected them to ear splitting tantrums time and time again at some stage of their life.

Remember that tantrums are nothing new and as god awful as they might seem at the time, tantrums are a normal part of a child’s development.

So take a deep breath, do whatever you need to do get through this hell hath no fury like a tantrum moment, and worry not about the people around you…remember you got through the embarrassment of childbirth so you can do this mama (plus a tantrum is much shorter – thank god!!!!).

Just make sure you pure yourself a big old glass of wine later on today, and my the mama force be with you!

having a tantrum

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33 comments

  1. I hate when everyone sits there judging if your children is having a bit of a moment. It’s so frustrating and does not help the situation at all!

  2. My daughter is now seven. But yes, I’ve been that mum when she was younger but thank goodness those moments were rare. Even then I remember the judgemental looks which made you feel like a complete failure. If only people would just move on with their lives without having to judge. Or better yet, if only we (as mothers) developed really thick skin so looks/comments like that won’t affect us anymore!

  3. I have seen so many kids throw tantrums and I can only imagine what the poor mamas are going through. I dont yet have kids but I do know I used to throw tantrum parties, my mum reminds me lol

  4. I always feel for parents when their child is having a tantrum and hate it when people tut and make comments – us parents know it happens!!!!!!

  5. Oh I totally know how this feels, I have a very over sensitive 7yr old (he will be 8 this year) and I often think by now they should have stopped but it’s just the way he is and we have to ride it out – I just try and ignore what other people think or their stares. Great post

  6. Luckily I’ve not yet had to deal with a full blown temper tantrum, usually just the laying down and refusing to move in shops! I just smile and apologise to other people when my daughter does it, noone seems particularly bothered thank goodness! #coolmumclub

  7. I’ve had one or two of these in public. The people around me have always been really nice – the knowing smile or stopping to say ‘we’ve all been there’. That makes it a little easier to deal with. That, and the wine! #coolmumclub

  8. I am totally with you – as having a child with mild ASD possible PDA I am more often the mum with a child who throws tantrums than not. He’s behaviour often just seems naughtiness for others and to be honest – sometimes is. It is really hard, even physically to keep our sh*t together. #coolmumclub

  9. The plane tantrum is the worst. You cannot stand up to comfort them, you cannot get them what they want, you cannot go anywhere.
    When people sit there and give you dirty looks, I always want to ask them how perfectly behaved their children are at all times, or how perfect they were as a child. But I refrain and await that glass of wine!
    With how quickly their little brains are growing and making a million new neural connections per minute, I can’t blame them for seeming like they have a demon running through them.
    Just taking a breath, realizing that all children do this, and to screw the nasty people sneering at you always helps. Then, of course, wine.
    #CoolMumClub

  10. Oooh I do love this. It’s funny how we’d all seek to reassure other Mums in this situation but we still feel horrified when it happens to us. Great post lovely #coolmumclub xx

  11. Oh this…I DO NOT KNOW what has gotten into the girls lately but the last two weeks I have been a perma-referee…it’s like living the tantrum phase all over again. But that’s a whole other blog post…for now…where is that wine?
    Is it Friday yet #CoolMumClub

  12. I remember feeling judged when we were in Walt Disney World, right in the middle of one of the parks, and BP – then 3 or 4 years old – decided to have an almighty tantrum. Screaming, spitting, kicking, the lot. I was mortified. All I could do was sit, and wait for him to finish. I felt a little better when I happened to look up and another mother was sitting close by. Our eyes met and she gave me a nod and for a moment I felt like I wasn’t alone.
    Great post.
    #CoolMumClub

  13. My little one is only 4 months so not tantrumming yet, but it’s bad enough when he cries in public and you get stares and tuts. Just have to pause, take a deep breath and think exactly all these things you’ve listed: I’m trying my best.

  14. It is so flipping annoying when they pretend to be quiet but blatantly make a nasty remark but don’t realise that maybe that actually other things are happening as my eldest has autism so will display tantrum like characteristics X #coolmumclub

  15. This was me today in the playground! My toddler has started preschool and it’s one hell of a tiring day for him. After he doesn’t seem to know what to do with himself, he didn’t want to walk, he didn’t want to go in the back carrier either. Everything I suggested or tried resulted in excruciating wails! In the end I just bundled him up in the carrier and walked out the playground with him screaming…joy! You just feel like everyone is watching don’t you! x
    #coolmumclub

  16. I just let the tantrum run its course now – they soon tire – the child and the judgers! #CoolMumClub

  17. My youngest threw a few tantrums when he was 3 and 4 years old. I was embarrassed by it but more frustrated than anything. I would take him out of the store and sit him in the car until he calmed down. That wasn’t easy to do but I needed a minute away from prying eyes so I could get myself together. Within a minute he calmed down though and we were able to walk back into the store. I saw a mother the other day at Target with two kids and the younger one was having a fit while the older one was starting to wander off. That’s even tougher. I felt for her. That’s a hard thing to get through sometimes. Great inspirational post! I hope this helps a lot of parents out there who struggle with this:) Thanks for hosting #CoolMumClub

  18. Tantrums in public always give me the mega mum sweats. That and when he throws a massive tantrum in front of family and I have to do the hardcore parenting part…I always feel semiconscious! #coolmumclub

  19. My youngest is 17months are just at the tantrum stage now. Second time around I really couldn’t care less about people judging me, i did it a lot when Leo was little and worrying about judgemental people just made me miserable xx #coolmumclub

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