As a population, we have become terrible at asking for help but as mums we have become shockingly bad at it and as mums we really need help…and to ask for it at that! It’s easier said than done I know, and I myself massively struggle with it too, so in case you need some extra persuasion to stick your neck out and go for it, here are 8 reasons why mums need help, and shouldn’t be afraid to ask for it.
Being a mum is far more complicated these days
There is no denying it. Being a mum is more complicated these days. Hell, LIFE is more complicated these days. We have careers, identities, emails, viewpoints and a bajillion choices for every decision to consider. Just look at any baby isle in a supermarket for proof! There’s just too much stuff shouting BUY ME BUY ME! We have more health worries and too much information (damn the internet!) and anxieties in our minds. It is simply overwhelming and too much for a mum who is constantly worrying about making the wrong choice to contain in just her own head.
Family units are not what they used to be
Your sister has moved to Australia, your brother to New York, you had your baby off in Asia and your parents live on the other side of the country. With our incredible thirst for travel and globalisation, the family unit is no longer, ooooh I don’t know…don’t the road, in the next village, maybe a thirty minute drive away tops but pretty much flung across the corners of the earth and over to Timbuktu (or so it feels). There is a lot to be said for having family close by, and when you don’t, you can really feel it’s loss.
Mums are expected to juggle careers with motherhood
I remember when I was a child, I think one or maybe two mums out of all my friends mums worked. The rest stayed at home. That was the norm. Their life was only spread out across the demands and duties of raising their family. THAT WAS IT. Now the number of working mothers has soared to record levels with large majorities of those with young children now going out to work, according to official figures. We have to balance a whole working life with a whole home life, and boy….are we feeling the strain.
But we still spend more time with our kids
However, despite that fact, we still spend more time with our kids than ever before, we are all over them, doing stuff with them, making stuff with them, whereas once upon a time we were just left to roam free in the garden and streets most of the year once we were over the age of three.
Motherhood has become more individualistic
Remember when being a mother used to be a collective thing – you know I’m going to wheel out that much loved saying now….”it takes a village to raise a child”….well it’s bloody true! Except that village / community feels has all but upped and disappeared, there is less government involvement than in the golden age (except for the suggestion of parenting classes which I DETEST!), less family involvement. Motherhood is now an individualistic, not a collective pursuit.
Mums have become our own worst enemies
With the sisterhood of motherhood teetering on the brink of distruction (thanks very much mum wars!), it’s never been a more lonely time to be a mum. We have become so concerned with keeping our masks on, and looking like we are keeping it all together (when quite honestly, we are not!) that in my view at least, we have become terrible at helping each other as we become increasingly wrapped up in our own worlds, priorities, worries and mum guilt! Let’s show a bit of vulnerability, and ask each other for help.
The mental health struggle is real
Around one in five women will experience a mental health problem during pregnancy or in the year after giving birth. We shouldn’t have to struggle through this on our own. End of.
And finally….It’s OK to ask for help
You may think that people don’t want to be burdened with other people’s problems, but all of the above point to one thing – mums need to ask for help, and should ask for help, and should feel ok about it. Let’s bring being a mum back into the collective…because it’s just too big a thing to do on our own.
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Do you struggle to ask for help as a mum? Does the above make you feel a bit better about why mums need to ask for help? Please do leave a comment and share.
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