Today I had one of those days, you know one of THOSE days, the ones where you are that mum feeling overwhelmed, that mum feeling unappreciated, that mum feeling lonely – that mum who just want to get back into bed and cry under the covers. The ones where you wonder – am I the only one hating this moment so much, hating the way I am acting so much? No, I know behind closed doors this is definitely not the case, as we all vow to keep a stiff upper a lip and march on through the dark days of parenthood. And so I wrote this letter as a bit of self therapy, but too all other mums who need to hear this right now too….
To the mum who feels like a failure…
You, yes you, you try so hard but sometimes, some days, everything you do gets thrown back in your face. It doesn’t mater what you do, how you try, everything is wrong and broken.
You plan for a nice day out – your child acts up all morning. You strive hard to cook something your fussy eater will eat – it gets thrown back in your face. Everything you say, do and think is met with disapproval, disgust and contradiction. You are worn down, exhausted.
All you want to do is enjoy being a mother so much, but you hate the way it is making you feel and behave today, and other days beyond that.
You’re sick of having to tell your children off all the time, this isn’t what you signed up for. Where is the love? You lost it in front of other people. You have said mean things to your children. You have been pushed to your outer limits and there is just no more room. There is just no more nice! Nothing left – the bucket has filled up, fallen over and spilled all over the floor. You are in a dark place and wish to be silent in a hole forever more.
Yes, today you feel like a failure, I know only too well. But remember this now – tomorrow, you can just as well feel like a hero. Have a big glass of wine and a huge piece of cake, go to bed early, and know that this too shall pass – in the meantime, you are doing enough, the best you can do – I’ve got your back.