13 things to do when you feel like a bad mum

feel like a bad mum

We all have those days. Those days when we feel like a bad mum. When everything we do or say seems to go against us, when we feel like a failure, and we most definitely feel like we are not winning at this mum life. So today to help you get through those days or maybe even weeks when you feel like a bad mum, I’ve called on fellow parenting bloggers to share their tips, advice and strategies to help lift you out of that “bad mum” hole.

Take a trip down memory lane

I look back on pictures to see how much they have grown and what they have achieved like the first time they rode a bike, their first nativity etc – it helps to shows how far they have come and how much you have helped them learn and grow. I then tell myself not to be so hard on myself ! – Ankle Biters Adventures 

Call in the girl gang

Talk to the girls! Get in that group chat and tell them you’re being too hard on yourself and need some encouragement. Works every time. – Hi Baby Blog 

Remember – if you think you’re bad, you’re probably not!

I remind myself that by even thinking I’m a bad parent it proves that I am not (if that makes sense!). If I was a Truly bad parent I would even be worrying about it. I have days like this all the time but you can only try your best. – Real Mum Reviews

Focus on the positives

Think about all the good times! You rarely feel like a bad parent ALL the time. Then think about how you can change the way you react that made you feel bad in the first place – for example if you shouted, try to count to three next time before reacting. – A Mum Reviews  

Remember tomorrow is a new day

Sit down at the end of the day and look for the positives from that day. There will always be one, even if it’s a small thing. Focus your attention and thoughts on that positive and know that no matter how hard a day has been, tomorrow is a new day. – Miracle Max

Get some perspective

I definitely think it’s important to share how your feeling with your partner or close friends. They can usually help me get perspective! I think that feeling usually stems from something else and not actually my parenting so it’s important to just talk things through! – Edinburgh With Kids  

Talk to the kids

If you need to say sorry for something then say it. Tell them you feel bad about something and they will defend you and tell you how wonderful they think you are. You will feel a lot better after a cuddle! – Yorkshire Wonders

Know that questioning yourself is a good thing

Talk to a friend of relative you trust. They’ll tell you if they think you could do something different (or better, dare I say it?!), but 99 times out of 100 they’ll actually reaffirm that you’re doing a wonderful job. None of us are perfect, but all of us parent with love – and our babies know that! Even the fact that we question ourselves is proof of our care of getting it right. – Refined Prose 

Talk to your own mum

I talk to my mum, she has been there and raised me so I feel that she won’t judge me at all and will know where I’m coming from. I turned out ok..I think! – Ready Freddie Go 

Get some headspace

Have some time alone. Even just half an hour for a walk or run or an hour to meet a friend for coffee. Recharge your ‘Mum battery’ and you will feel much better. Try and remember that we are all muddling along, trying to get it right and that we all slip up sometimes. – Pink Pear Bear

Go back to basics

When I feel like a bad parent I remind myself of the little things; he’s alive, he’s healthy, he’s loved. Okay so sometimes I may lose my patience or we may have days where he’s frustrated but I try to think of it as healthy that he sees that as well. Sometimes we just need to take a step back, take a breath and really take it back to basics. – Devon Mama  

Switch it up

I usually choose to do something spontaneous with the kids – take them out, get a craft out, do some baking. I take the time to devote my attention entirely to them for a chunk of time. Usually makes me feel better, especially as I am pretty isolated and have no one about to confide in much – Someone’s Mum 

See it from your children’s point of view

Luckily for us, children are incredibly forgiving and while you are busy beating yourself up over what you did or didn’t do, they are probably sitting there secretly thinking you are the best mummy ever. So try and see things from their point of view, and take their approach of being in the now, and moving onto the next thing after any misdemeanours may have happened as opposed to wallowing in it – easier said than done I know! – Motherhood: The Real Deal 

What do you do when you feel like a bad mum? Do you have any tips or advice to offer? Or perhaps you’re reading this after having a bad day? Do leave a comment and share.

13 things to do when you feel like a bad mum

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40 comments

  1. I like the advice seeing it from your child’s point of view. I tend to do that too especially when I say “no” to my daughter. I always end up feeling guilty and then I explain why I said no. It works 🙂

  2. I had this yesterday when my son had a particularly bad day at school. I had to take a step back and spoke to him calmly when we had both had a chance to calm down

  3. I bet lots of mums feel like this at times – I’ve heard parenting isnt easy! I think focusing on the positives and talking to other parents sound like good tips.

  4. These are great tips and I totally agree that if you think you’re a crap mum you’re probably not as it shows you’re questioning your parenting and whether you could be better. However if you’re smoking crack in front of your kids without questioning it then maybe not!! Thanks for hosting #coolmumclub x

  5. Yesterday I had a really bad day with Ben, he is either coming down with something or just being a bit off. Nothing I would do would sort it and he was just so full on, refusing to eat etc. I called my Nan for a catch up last night and she told me how amazing both me and Hubby are as parents, she told me she watches us interact with Ben when we dont realise shes looking and that she knows were both doing a brilliant job. She honestly made me feel like I was floating on cloud 9 and today little man and me are getting along great, we’ve had a great morning so far and i’m totally winning this parenting game!! #coolmumclub

  6. I love those suggestions, I actually took out some holiday photos earlier and they made me realise how easily we forget the good moments and wish we had them all over again. I think it’s a good idea to praise our kids for the good things they do like the kindness or good manners they show to others as those are skills I’m proud of teaching and in praising them I remind myself of what I have done too. #Coolmumclub

  7. I frequently question my parenting ability but I s trip back to are they feed and happy and sade so I know I am doing an OK job X #coolmumclub

  8. Head space works wonders for me. I felt guilty about needing my own space for ages. But now I accept that having some time out makes me a better mum. Some great suggestions in there. Nothing like some love and a good old moan with your mates too! #CoolMumClub

  9. Definitely talking to the kids! I often find myself chatting it through with them, and it helps me to not only see how loved I am, but also lets them see my imperfections which I feel is really important.
    That and have a glass of wine….when they’re in bed obvs! Surprised no one mentioned that little gem 😉
    Thanks for sharing some solid #coolmumclub advice…cheers!

  10. Seeing from my child’s point of view. Great tip. I will try this tonight when he refuses to eat his lovingly made apples and red cabbage dinner. Again.

  11. Excellent tips. The remembering that tomorrow is another day is good. Things usually look very different in the morning when everyone’s had some space 🙂

  12. Brilliant tips. For me it’s all about getting that smile back on my face! I have been known to hold a bad mood for a while… looking through photos is a god way to turn things around, they always make me smile x
    #coolmumclub

  13. The girl gang truly rocks!!! What would we do without them?!
    And great advice about seeing things from our children’s perspective – helps understand why the tantrum really happened in the first place; and as you said, helps us feel a tad better knowing they aren’t beating themselves up about it as much as we are!!!
    #coolmumclub

  14. Great tips!! I especially agree with talking and being honest with your kids; saying something like ‘I’m sorry I shouted.” They’re usually extremely forgiving and helps to give a sense of perspective. Also essential to have some alone time too! #CoolMumClub x

  15. Definitely taking a deep breath and counting to three always helps! I find that if I’m getting short-tempered and impatient I need to walk out of the room and then I always return in a better, more patient frame of mind!! xx #coolmumclub

  16. You mention something my mum always said to me when I worried about not doing things right, if you worry about being a bad mum it means you’re probably well on the road to being a very good one. One of the best bits of parenting advice ive ever had
    #coolmumsclub

  17. What great words of advice from other Mums – it’s good to know that everyone has been there, and that worrying about it at least shows you are an OK mum anyway to be aware of it! Yup that makes sense to me!!

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