I remember thinking that the toddler years were pretty hideous – all those awful tantrums, disgusting habits and the sheer relentlessness of it all. I thought I had kissed those days goodbye. And then we got a puppy. Life got tipped upside down as I learned the hard way that puppies are like toddlers!
In fact, the fact that puppies are like toddlers is not just a hunch of mine. Research from the University of Arizona and published in the journal Animal Behaviour, finds that 2-year-old kids show similar patterns in social intelligence (a.k.a out of control maniac behaviour) to our little furry pals.
Well, this is absolutely no surprise to me given our recent puppy experience which left me wanting to lock myself in the bathroom again for a bit of peace and quiet. If you need some convincing, let me break it down for you all the ways puppies are like toddlers:
Putting disgusting things in their mouth
I will never forget the time we were on a city break with our daughter who was two at the time. We thought it would be a lovely idea to visit the zoo there. That is until she decided it would be a good idea to lick the outer casing of the penguin enclosure which seemed to have all manner of bird s*** all over it. We then spent the rest of our trip trying to keep a lid on diarrhea explosions. Oh the joy! Similarly, puppies are like toddlers in that they love to put all manner of off-limit items in their mouths ranging from your children’s beloved Lego to anything disgusting they discover on a walk especially deer poo. Guess all those learnings from baby-proofing your home were long forgotten!
Throwing down epic tantrums
Most parents have their own fond memories of hair-raising tantrums their children have unleashed on the world when their kids do not get their own way, are overwhelmed or just flat out exhausted. Well, puppies have their own rendition which looks like a tazmanian devil whirling around like a hurricane trying to bite anything and anyone they come into contact with. The main difference here is usually your tantruming toddler will be running away from you. With a tantruming puppy you will be running so fast to get onto the other side of the baby gate and away from their bitey shark teeth you could give Usain Bolt a run for his money.
They look so beautiful when they are asleep
I remember so well those toddler days when our daughter would finally conk out for a nap or at bedtime. She would look so beautiful and peaceful….like an angel. Every parent has had that moment when after a hard toddler parenting day they have gazed on their slumbering child and their heart has melted at the peace and beauty of the sight. Puppies are like toddlers in that when they finally crash out from the excitement of it all, they look so damn cute and beautiful, your heart does a little flutter and you remember why you endure all the pain of puppyhood.
Introducing the nap refusniks
Oh yes puppies are like toddlers in that not only will they fight the nap but also refuse to nap in their designated area and try to escape. This is so much like a toddler refusing to nap at their usual time and in their cot or toddler bed it is uncanny. Puppies also become completely vile if they are overtired – their version is to turn wolf-like and try to bite your arm or leg off. Can you even believe that like toddlers, puppies need enforced naps? Who knew!
And remember when you sent your child to daycare for the first time and they were the only ones who wouldn’t go to sleep during nap time? Yup, if you are one of the lucky ones like me, your puppy may do the exact same thing when you send them to doggy daycare!
Hair raising potty training struggles
Every parent takes a big gulp when they have to potty train. And then there is puppy potty training – of should I say – house training – where there is no safety net of nappies to help you through! Puppy potty training is hardcore and involves and requires round-the-clock vigilance and sergeant major like marching to the garden whatever the weather until one sweet day, finally the penny drops and your puppy learns that the toilet is….outside! That said puppies are like toddlers in that just as you think you’ve nailed the toilet training, they go and do the mother of pees or poops all over the landing floor.
Fuelled by snacks
I remember that life with our daughter as a toddler seemed to lurch from one snack – or should I say bribe – to the next in a bid to circumvent the volcano of frustration that most darling toddlers tend to be. Meanwhile, puppies are like toddlers in that in order to sidestep puppy armageddon and illicit the behaviour you want to see you need to bribe – sorry I mean – incentivise them with a never-ending supply of treats. I think other people like to call this training.
Unhelpful helpers
Puppies are like toddlers in that they are eager to please but the helping is usually about as helpful as a chocolate teapot. Much like your toddler wanting to help out making dinner in the kitchen, which results in half your ingredients ending up on the floor, puppies have their own version of this. For example, our puppy likes to be my workout buddy by climbing all over my face when I’m doing pilates, or by trampling all over the flowerbed when I’m trying to do the gardening, all by herding everyone that comes through the door like she is some kind of award-winning sherpa!
Separation anxiety
Puppies are like toddlers also in their need to be by your side always – on the toilet, in the shower and from the moment they open their little puppy eyes. So just as I started getting some of my privacy back, I now have a new stalker in the house…
Romance killers
Since we’ve had our puppy well let’s just say our relationship has suffered! Just like with a toddler there’s little to no privacy or chance or romance as your puppy needs to be glued to your side. Oh and then there’s the constant negotiating about who is on puppy shift that night or walk. Nobody talks about it but just like a demanding wailing toddler, puppies put a serious strain on your relationship too.
So there you have it. Puppies are like toddlers in that they are super hard work! But having been through it once over as a mum, it will all be worth it in the end, right? I mean, just look at that face….
