9 reasons raising children has become more difficult

raising children

Is it our imaginations….or has raising children gotten more difficult these days? It’s true that nobody ever said that raising children was easy, but somehow parenting does seem to have got harder against the backdrop of this crazy world we live in.

Once upon a time, it all felt a lot more straightforward…these days, there just seem to be a lot more curveballs in the mix – more single families, more children with learning difficulties, more families where both parents are out to work, less cohesive communities, the ridiculous expectations we put on ourselves thanks to the impact of social media etc. To try to get to the bottom of why raising children feels more difficult these days, I’ve asked the parent blogger community to share their thoughts on exactly that:

The pressure we put on ourselves

For me, it would be the pressure I put on myself. I think there is still a stigma around single mothers and worry that choosing to have my child as a single mother will mean she faces prejudices because of my choices. That is on top of the general guilt that surrounds any parent worrying about whether they are good enough. – Mummy in a Tutu 

Balancing life with autism

Getting support for my son, who is autistic, is one of the hardest things to keep up with. Balancing the needs of different children with very different needs is really hard too. If I finally feel I am doing right by my son and he is on track, I then feel awful guilt that I have neglected his sister. – Someone’s Mum

Knowing how to let go

My eldest has just started high school and my biggest challenge at the moment is finding the balance between giving him the independence that he wants and providing the support he needs. I’ve found that the step from Primary school to high school has been much bigger than expected, both for him and for us as parents. – My Mummy’s Pennies

Feeling isolated

The loneliness of staying at home with my youngest is crippling me at the moment. I am self-employed now and in theory, working from home but I find it so hard working around him now he’s a toddler. We can’t afford the nursery fees though. – Even Angels Fall 

The cost of raising children

I think the hardest thing is how much it costs to have children. The cost of living is so high that it’s very hard to manage if only one parent works. I have two children, my husband works full-time and I do about 35hrs a week from home. It’s hard work that I have to squeeze in around full-time parenting, but it’s financially impossible for me to stop. It’s also not worth me getting a job out of the house, because that would put a stop to the small number of tax credits we get and I’d pay through the nose on childcare. I don’t know how some families manage when they live in areas with a higher housing cost than mine. I bet it makes the decision to have children even harder for those young couples who are considering it. – Accidental Hipster Mum 

9 reasons why parenting has become so much harder these days

The work-life juggle

I find getting support from my employer very hard, although she has a family she isn’t family orientated whereas I am and she finds it difficult to see why I’m part time rather than full time and I always feel like I’m holding back the team and being overly sensitive within my role because of this. – Ready Freddie Go

I find the toughest thing is not being able to spend all of the school holidays with my child (next year I will be on maternity leave and it will be different) but I really feel I miss out by working 5 days a week and only getting 5 weeks holiday a year. We are lucky that our daughter has a tribe of willing volunteers to look after her and take her out on fab days out but I do regret that it is not me. – Happy Mummy 

raising children

The impact of social media

Not just the fears for your children but also the pressure to keep up with others as a parent. It can be such a blessing but also a total curse as well when you are seeing beautiful homes, smart children, lovely holidays and you feel like you are seriously lacking. – Pink Pear Bear  

I think social media and the internet is a huge issue in raising children. It places huge pressures whether it be thinking you should be doing this with your kids, or feed them this way not to mention the issues as they get older. My son will be 10 this year and there ares kids in his class who have their own phone, go on snapchat and play online games. It really worries me as there’s so much I don’t know and understand about it all and how rife online bullying is. It really worries me over the next few years what a huge role it’ll play in our lives as you simply can’t avoid it, but as they get older the control slips away too. – Twinderelmo 

raising children

Elevated levels of general anxiety

I find it hard to manage my worries about my children, I have so many worries and persistent preachy/judgy/idealised social media does not help my worries that I am not doing enough/the right thing for them. – Eat Simply

For me, the toughest thing is the pressure of feeling like the world is watching and expecting me to be the *best* mum – despite little help with childcare from family, trying to run a business, and two very headstrong little girls both demanding my attention and refusing to sleep. It’s utterly exhausting, and I feel like I’m neglecting my babies, my husband, and my business – no part of my life gets the attention it deserves, and I’m crippled with anxiety about how spectacularly I’m failing across the board. I know that’s probably a (negatively) skewed perception, but it often feels that way. Especially on those occasions when I’m desperate for a little extra help from a certain family member who *could* – but doesn’t…- The Less Refined Mind 

Feeling overstretched

For me, it would be that I don’t spend enough time or do enough with my children. Although in my head I know I do, but when I read quotes, posts etc on social media I feel like a complete failure most days. But I am learning to just ignore that as nothing is a perfect picture. – Life as Mum

The growing technology struggle

For me, at the moment it’s the pressure from my 10 year old to let him play games I don’t agree with. He’s being left out at school because he can’t talk with his friends about them. Peer pressure already! – Mummy and Monkeys 

Too much screen time is an issue in our house… for us all! I’ve had to ban myself from screen use at certain times as my daughters are addicted like me, so we’re trying to reduce screen time together. – Mamamei

Personally, I can really relate to the work/life juggle and feeling like you’re ever able to dedicate enough time to either and the feeling of angst social media can create. Do you agree with the above reasons why raising children feels a lot harder these days? Are there any other reasons you would add? Do share in a comment below.

 

 

13 comments

  1. I couldn’t agree more. When I was a kid there were no mobiles, no social media and things were definitely a lot simpler. The pressure to keep on top of everything with the kids and then add work on top of that – I honestly think my brain is going to explode some days.

  2. i can so relate to the pressures we do put on ourselves – we sometimes are way to hard on ourselves as parents and raise bar to hard , i often wonder how my mum managed and she alwats says just go with the flow baby

  3. The worries of social media is so real! And yes, god kids are expensive! I never planned to have 5 but they cost us a fortune!! It’s hard work parenting in this day and age absolutely!

  4. I can empathise with all of these. It’s hard for me to say if parenting is harder now, as it would be easy for me to say it was easier in my parents’ day. But I do think the cost of living has made things much more difficult now. Social media is a nuisance, as much as it is a help. I do think it’s a good opportunity to actively be true to yourself, simplify and not compare though. Otherwise it can consume you. Social media is a useful tool, but when it sucks energy out of you, it’s time to take a step back. It’s annoying that social media is another thing to have to moderate with kids, but I suppose the pressures now are just different to how they were in the past. x

  5. Social media is definitely something I worry about with my daughter, I hate the thought of her getting bullied and the constant need to gets like and comments on social media. My cousin said she was ugly because she didn’t get so many likes, I was heartbroken.

  6. I think it’s so great that we are having a conversation out in the open about this thanks to this post….life is generally so much more busy and overwhelming so it’s important to know we are not alone in feeling this way x

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