Children at weddings – a.k.a weddings according to a four year old

children at weddings

So we’ve just come back from a lovely family wedding – and who doesn’t love a good wedding? There’s so many things to love about a wedding…the tears shed during the exchanging of vows, the endless amounts of fizz, the hours spent filling our faces and of course the cheesy speeches. But apparently, a four year old sees things very differently. I didn’t know whether to burst out laughing or hide in shame at some of the exclamations our resident four year old made at the wedding at 70 flipping decibels…but I’ve decided on balance they were definitely worth a laugh and so here they are for your entertainment!

On the ceremony

Ah just look at the happy couple..they’ve exchanged vows, and rings and now they’re sealing the deal with the kiss. But to a four year old their only concern at this moment apparently voiced to the whole of the flipping room in their booming four year old voice is “when will it end?”. Okay, in fairness we have probably all thought the same at some point during a wedding ceremony but you know, we know how to keep these thoughts to ourselves being the mature adults we are. You can’t beat their honesty can you?!

On the food

Blurgh! Canapes, three course meal, fancy bread with seeds? What is this folly? They’ll be more than happy eating a bajillion crackers with peanut butter and Pom Bears…(if you remembered to bring a stash that is). Hey ho, tomorrow is a new day.

But on the flip sie, then there is one thing they sure as hell won’t forget aboutthe whole day and that’s the cake. Repeat after me – “mummmmmm…..when are they going to do the cake?” – a bajillion times over all throughout the day.  That is until they discover that  it’s evil fruit cake disguised inside that amazing exterior.

On the speeches

Hours and hours with furrowed brow spent crafting the speeches by the father of the bride, best man and groom only to be met with in a four year old’s mind with “what is he SAYING????!” and loud sarcastic  four year old comedy “HA HA HA”” laughs and eye rolling at inopportune moments. Time to get our coats?


On the best bit of the wedding

The memories of weddings stay with us for years – the beautiful moments, the emotions, the words, that image of the bride and groom forever imprinted in our minds. But to a four year old when asked about the best bit of a wedding.

The chocolate.


Yup, you couldn’t make it up, could you? Just don’t tell the people who financed the wedding (sorry if you’re reading this but hoping you’re going to see the funny side – eek?)!

Ahhh but bless their beautiful innocent and say-it-like-you-see it four year old minds. We wouldn’t have it any other way would we….or would we?

Children at weddings - a.k.a weddings according to a four year old

Have you got some funny tales to share of your children at weddings? Do leave a comment and share and if this post tickled you please give it a share.



  1. I was a bridesmaid for my best friend and I expect all to break loose on the day. However surprisingly mine was on their best behaviour and had a great day. They loved the cake and music!!

  2. There is never a short supply of comments from kids when at the wedding I know I have experienced a few from thinking the kiss was gross to making a mockery of the food

  3. We have been to a few weddings that have been very child friendly, but I think if the couple hasn’t got many children attending it cane be a bit grown up and dull for them. Chocolate tends to rank highly in any event!

  4. I hate taking kids to weddings. Awful as it sounds. Nothing bad’s ever happened really. But I always just think “it’d be easier without them!” #coolmumclub

  5. This is gold At my cousin’s wedding the father of the bride’s speech went on for sooooooooo long. About 3/4 the way through when we were all soooo fed up and the guy paused, my little cousin who was 4 at the time, happened to do the loudest yawn. The whole marquee erupted into laughter. The father of the bride thought it was because his speech was funny #coolmumclub

  6. Oh love her! It’s funny because after years of actually praying all wedding invites state ‘NO KIDS’ part of me would really love to take the girls to a big proper wedding – they’d be mesmerised!

    You’ll have to get married and invite us Talya! 😉 #coolmumclub bridesmaid right here!!

  7. I was going to do a comedy wedding post after my brother’s wedding but erm as you know the comedy element went out the window very fast with those particular nuptials. I’m loving the ‘when will it end’ and having now met your little whirlwind, these moments were all so easy to visualise!!

  8. Hehe! I am with the four year old. There are two types of weddings. Amazing ones and When Will it End Ones. They usually have the fruit cake for cake. Totally not cake! #coolmumclub

  9. We’ve been to 3 weddings this year, all within weeks of each other. The third one was the only one we took Little Man to. I’m quite relieved in hindsight. They’re rather stressful! Mind you it was in the early evening as opposed to daytime so I’m sure had it been earlier in the day he wouldn’t have been so tired. #coolmumclub

  10. I loved weddings as a child…and I think I attended more as a child than I ever have as an adult (we don’t do weddings in my family really!). #coolmumclub

  11. Ha ha, the only wedding L has been to is my sister’s, his aunts. He was find during the ceremony. Hated the canapes and nearly spat one back onto the tray as the server wasn’t quick enough. He missed the speeches as he needed a poo, which he loudly told everyone. He loved the dancing and he really loved the pick and mix she had arranged. He told her she looked like a princess, so got to sit at the top table. But mainly he very loudly asked for more broccoli during the meal, I was so proud! And smug! #coolmumclub

  12. Lol, it is funny seeing a wedding through a little one’s eyes. I remember my nieces standing next to me waiting expectantly as hubby and I cut the cake on our wedding day. They were quite disappointed that I didn’t keep cutting and give them a slice there and then! That particular moment got captured on my wedding video and it still makes me chuckle whenever I watch it back 🙂 #coolmumclub

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