Teaching children consideration in a world where it’s sometimes lacking

Teaching children consideration

At the risk of sounding like an old bat who harps on about how “they didn’t do that in my day” I need to get something of my chest.

Consideration.

What on earth has happened to it?

Maybe it’s because I really needed some mum-time out  but when I did finally get it I just seemed to be faced with annoying inconsiderate people.

First there was the guy who was sat in my train carriage who had his music on so loud I could here every single lyric and s*** techno sound screaming at me through his headphones.

No, but I’m sorry but I don’t want to have your pathetic excuse for music forced upon me at 9am when all I want is a bit of peace.

Then there was the parents who thought they would plonk their toddler in front of a mind numbing loop of nursery rhymes in the restaurant at full whack just so they could enjoy their meal. Well done to you because I did not! Having Little Baby Bum forced upon me while I was trying to “enjoy” my Japanese brought back tragic memories of being stuck with a screaming toddler at 5am every morning. Needless to say I wolfed down my rice bowl and scarpered.

Not to mention all the guys who you were squished into close proximity with over summer, with their sweaty bodies, tops off and stinky beer in hand.

And the idiots who watch their You Tube videos on too loud in any public places.

ARGHHHHHHH!

Perhaps I am just turning into a grumpy old f*** but PLEASE! Can a mama on her mum’s day off just have a little bit of consideration? – not to mention everyone else!

When did everyone become so inconsiderate and annoying? Maybe I’m just premenstrual but as a parent who is always striving to teach consideration I can’t help but notice how much consideration seems to be ebbing away in our modern world.

And that makes me want to instill consideration even more. It’s so easy to teach consideration, and here’s how:

  • Start with you. Children learn by mirroring so if you are considerate to others both inside and outside the home, they will soon get the idea. Of course there are times that we are tired and stressed out and the last thing we feel like being is considerate – hey! nobody’s perfect – but if we managed to do this even half of the time then we are off to good start.
  • Teach them to think about other people, not just about themselves. Children can be pretty narcissistic, and so it’s important to teach them that the world doesn’t in fact revolve around them and that they have to think of others, not just about themselves.  I find talking about some of the struggles people across the world go through daily just to live really helps with this.
  • Show your children how they can help others….simple things like helping to keep a door open for someone or helping someone to carry something can go along way.
  • Teach them the importance of listening and not just rattling off what they want to say when the mood takes them. This is a tricky one and I find that instilling the art of turn taking when talking and listening really helps with this….a good one to practice at family meals!
  • Instill manners in them – please and thank you go a long way in life. As does greeting people and looking people in the eye when talking to them. Children have a habit of barking demands at people but it’s up to us to teach them otherwise. When they bark a demand respond by letting them know what they should say instead and asking them to say it….after a while it will become second nature to them after much parroting.
  • Teach them how to ask about others – a great way of doing this is putting in a phone call to those who you know are feeling unwell or perhaps fragile to see how they are doing. Put the call on loud speaker and encourage them to ask too.
  • Encourage your children to think about how their actions might make others feel and to think before they act. This can be particularly difficult in the younger years when self control is still low, but as their brains develop they will gradually be more capable of doing so.
  • Instill hope, positivity and a can do-attitude in them. I have to work hard on this one as I can be a bit of a defeatist sometimes, but teaching them not to moan or feel deflated in the face of adversity and that good things can come out of bad situations will help them become less self absorbed in any woes when the bad times roll round.

So  you see, I’m hoping in my little corner of this world, this will at least offset the inconsideration of others we’ve been experiencing of late. Do you try and instill consideration in your children? And if so, what tips do you have to share on doing so? Please do leave a comment below. Talya xoxo

Teaching children consideration

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9 comments

  1. Lovely post. It is so important to teach our children this basic value… if they practice it from an early age, it will come naturally to them. And the world will have less carriages with inconsiderate people shouting on the phone or blasting their music.
    #coolmumclub

  2. Such a lovely post, consideration is one of the most important things that I drum into my children. I think far too many people are inconsiderate these days, it’s a real bug bear of mine. I hope that my children grow to be both considerate and kind, those two things will take them far. #coolmumclub

  3. 100% agree with this! Am I on of those people who will tap someone on the shoulder and ask them to turn their music down because it’s so frigging annoying! I think it’s so important to teach children some consideration – although it seems a lot of adults need to learn it too!! #coolmumclub

  4. I hope it wasn’t our David on the iPad :-/ Like many kids with autism he uses it to help himself stay calm and learn in busy places and it’s part of why we ask to be sat further away from people if and when we finally manage to eat out. The hope is that by going out (even with an iPad) he may learn to cope, learn not to need the iPad and one day be able to just go out for dinner.

    As a parent of kids whose behaviour can appear rude and odd it may seem unevidenced that I’m trying lots of your ideas to instill consideration to the nth degree. Our youngest having patience and being understanding of her brothers feelings is effectively essential to the family operating. For the boys it will be a very long process.

    Sometimes things are not always as they appear to be and the annoying things aren’t all bad. A bit of consideration and understanding means thinking of others but can involve compromise too. Hope that doesn’t sound too harsh .xxx #coolmumclub
    Ann from Rainbows are too beautiful recently posted…Finding their feet – our favourite back to school shoesMy Profile

  5. I have to say, I totally cringe about kids on iPads in restaurants – I get why parents turn to it, but I think it’s the kind of thing MY MUM would hate, and guess that has been instilled in me too!
    This is a really thought provoking post and you’re right, it’s so important. If we don’t, then the future just might be a dark place to be…

    Thanks for sharing with #coolmumclub and hosting like a boss x Mwah
    MMT recently posted…Helping your child’s cursive handwriting with Uniball #InternationalLiteracyDayMy Profile

  6. Argh bloody love this!!! You sound as grumpy and intolerant as me!!!! All joking aside, I can’t agree enough with this. We’re responsible for instilling the morals and manners into the generation of the future – a task some take too lightly. I love the point about telling our children of struggles faced by people in other parts of the world. I’ve done this with my children when they’ve been going off on one about some 1st world problem or another. It strikes a chord with them and totally diffuses the situation every time. Fantastic advice here – we live in a world where it’s very uncool to be “nice” but for me, being a nice human is vital.
    x
    #CoolMumClub
    Jemma @ Popcorn for Lunch recently posted…The Play Date with Poshy McPoshfaceMy Profile

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