Are you wondering whether you are happy parents? More often than not, couples into long term relationships tend to lose the vibe along the way. Once the ‘family responsibilities’ kick in, then the joys of parenthood and marriage slowly depreciate; thus, it gets worse than before. This should never be the case! True happiness should be experienced and enjoyed by both parents, which will automatically reflect and result in your kids’ well-being.
Normally, you don’t need someone telling you’re unhappy in your marriage or parenting. Similarly, you will not need a happiness coach to ring the warning bells of unhappiness kicking in. If you started as happy parents and then felt some notable differences and changes along the way, perhaps it’s time to take a pause, look back and re-evaluate where you missed the mark.
Happiness matters a great deal and will eventually reflect in your productivity and ability to raise your kids. Consider the following happy parenting tips that will revolutionize your relationships in the family setting.
Rule 1: Be single!
This might come as a shocker for most parents. “How can I be single, and yet I’m married?” Well, it’s quite easy to explain when you look at it. Individual persons often make the mistake of losing themselves in the other person. This means, failing to fully discover oneself and hoping to find that missing part in your partner.
The result is that one or both parents will eventually give up whatever hobbies, talents, or likes they used to have to contain and entertain their spouse. Remember, they should love you for you, not for the contorted image. This means you also won’t be under the impact of every other influencer out there or friends on social platforms. Therefore, learn to be single even in your marriage, and you’ll see how happy both of you will be.
Rule 2: Your partner comes first
It’s almost admirable to hear many parents comment that their children are the most important person in their lives. But it’s more pitiful to listen to this. But why, you might ask. Have you so easily forgotten that you wouldn’t have those kids if your partner weren’t around? This also applies to happy parents who married again, probably after the demise of their spouse. If your partner feels less loved, be sure they will seek this love elsewhere, and eventually, it will come back to bite you real bad.
Rule 3: It’s never too serious
It’s reasonable to wear a serious look and change your wardrobe to suits once you get employed by, say, a consultancy. It makes no sense to become a different person after childbirth. Since you’ll have to undergo parenting marriage, this means you will have to go through new experiences or recall old ones.
What this simply means is that parents will have to blend in with their children. This will require some ‘childish’ behavior from the parents to accommodate the growing minds. You might even be forced to enjoy reading books for 5 year olds. However, you will be surprised at how much you can pick up and learn from such humility and innocence. That notwithstanding, don’t be tempted to take the ‘newly-gained-childishness’ to your workplace! You still need income.
Rule 4: Address the needs
“I want to spend time with friends,” Mark said.
“You need to spend more time with your family and stop drinking!” retorted Jenifer.
That’s just a small argument from the family movie This Is Us, with names twisted. You need to watch it if you haven’t.
Each member of the family has different needs. For the man, it may be satisfaction and pleasure. For the wife, it could range from a diverse set of things, from love and attention to material things and time out. The kids also have a specific set of needs. Learning to address and differentiate them from wants is a true parenting meaning. This will give you so much peace and priceless happiness.
Rule 5: Make time
Present-day families are plagued with the disease called “I don’t have time!” Whether you are an army officer or the head doctor in your hospital, once you lack time for your family, you have lost the most crucial aspect of your life. Perhaps it’s high time for parents to start asking themselves what the most important thing for them is before trusting full care to nannies and baby-nurses.
Rule 6: Connect – be there!
Some parents are present but are never really there. This could be credited to the massive influence of technological devices and gadgets, which are ever at our hands. We cannot put more emphasis on this point; you need to learn to be there for your family. After all, how would your kids learn to connect with those around them if you failed to communicate with them? Set the right pattern!
Rule 7: Best friends for life
Once you learned to be your own best friend, it’s much easier to offer friendship and love to your spouse. This will set the training grounds for when your kids come along. Make sure they can rely on you. Not only should you guide and instruct them by being their role models but also listen and encourage them in moments of failure and when all hope seems lost. Be their rock and their hiding place, like a true friend.
Rule 8: An all-round Family
The tips given so far will go a long way if you consider how to be a happier parent. By now, it should be clear that we advocate an all-rounded family. You have heard the quote, “A family that prays together stays together!” The basic conclusion from this quote is that you should not neglect your family’s spiritual needs as you cater to their material, intellectual, emotional, and physical well-being.
Rule 9: All-Work, all-play
Work hard, play hard. It’s that simple. Whenever you are contemplating how to be happy parents consider bringing in some form of game or play that takes you off the usual busy routine. Remember what we said; don’t take things too seriously.
Rule 10: Rule of thumb for happy parents
Love and mutual respect — that sums it all up. If you love your family, you will always do your best. Genuine love and mutual respect will result in happy parents and confident kids!
Now you know the ingredients to not only spice up your relationship but also solidify your parenting nature. Remember, parenting means team-work, and the kids are also part of the team. When one person is down, the whole team is down. Have you been applying these parenting tips to your life? Share your thoughts in the comment section below and encourage another parent out there.
Betti Wilson is a happiness coach who has also learned from the hard school of life. With a Ph.D. in Counselling Psychology, she still considers the everyday life experiences to be the best learning ground. She has continually shared her knowledge, which has assisted parents, children, and singles who hope to start a family.