You know what they say….a problem shared is a problem halved. Yet why are so many of us mums so bad about talking about “stuff”? Is it that stiff upper lip us Brits we’ve had drummed into us? Or it is just our plain embarrassment with our imperfections? Or maybe we just don’t want to look bad in front of other mums? Whatever it is…..there’s one thing I know and know only too well. And that’s mums need to talk more.
All too often, I’ll trudge along with a feeling of angst about something that is going on in our lives…thinking that we must be the ONLY ones who have a child who is doing this or not doing that. And then lo and behold…out it comes…only for us to discover that SHOCK HORROR! we are not alone.
Case in point: Those who follow my blog know that our little who will be five in a couple of months is still be in nappies at night, and nowhere near being dry. Although I have learnt not to struggle about it, I still have a niggly feeling of worry about it every morning when I wake up to find another nappy soaked through having had it drummed into my head somehow that she should have been dry at night closer to two years ago.
Then when I had a few other school mums around the other day I dared to say the words I had only wondered inside my brain out loud: “Um…..so….is anyone else’s child still in nappies at night?”. I had expected looks of utter disbelief or perhaps total tumbleweed in response. Instead, other children in nappies were outed from the woodwork too! The sense of relief was immense. We are not the only ones!!! It’s all ok! Hallelujah I am not failing as a mum!!!!
When the problem always seems so much worse in our heads why do we keep so many of our parenting questions and concerns to ourselves, like the minute they leave our mouths that people will laugh in our faces like it’s the funniest thing they have heard all their life?
Why do we sit on our stuff to the point that it hurts? When the alternative – which is to just let it all out – feels like such sweet relief? When we can find comrades in arms in this mum life rather than instead driving ourselves to distraction about a problem which when we put it out there can be met with comfort, reassurance and non-judgement?
Alone, in silence – we are crazy mamas. Together, communicating – we are strong soul sistas. We are empowered.
So hear this now mamas – it’s ok to talk about our problems. It’s ok to admit defeat or just utter cluelessness. It’s ok even if you feel like a total ignoramus as I often have. It doesn’t make you any less of a person, or a mum, or human being. It makes you the beautifully imperfect parent you are. So give your worries a voice, and I’m banking on the fact that someone will be there to listen, and that you’ll feel so much better for it.
Do you talk enough about your worries as a mum? Or do you feel you need to talk more? Do share in a comment below and let’s talk!
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