Here’s the thing about new motherhood. Everywhere you turn people are looking all soppy faced at the fact that – ohhhh congratulations! You’ve just had a baby. Silly quotes are screaming at you from all across the internet about the magic of new motherhood and becoming a mum. And everyone keeps telling you to enjoy every moment like….well, every moment is magical… or something.
But here’s the thing.
Yes, in many ways the notion of becoming a new mum IS magical. Yet….sorry to say this….although actually, I’m not really sorry….it can also be pretty horrific.
Depending on the birth you had, the birth might very well have been horrific. In fact I can probably count on three fingers the people I know who did not have some form of a horrific experience of sorts during childbirth.
And then yes, it’s amazing that you can marvel at this little alien of a bean you have created, bleating next to you….but then the generally not knowing what the F*** you are doing most of the time and being fearful that you are going to hurt or mess them up in some way is generally quite horrific as a new parent – at least, I thought it was.
Then there’s the one about how you seem to have morphed over night from what was a human to a veritable Utterly Butterly cow…producing milk like your life depended on it…or rather, your child’s does…or perhaps you are grappling with the horrifying notion that ARGHHHH! your baby won’t latch on or you can’t produce the milk (who on earth told you breastfeeding is the most natural thing in the world anyway!), or you are unable to feed them in the way you were hoping to which in itself as a new mum can all feel pretty horrifying especially when you look in the mirror and see boobs the size of Mount Vesuvius with veins running through them that looks like the Ganges river.
And then there’s the horrifying times when your baby screams all night, their back arched so much that you think they may very well just blimming well go ahead and break it. Oblivious to the horrors of reflux, colic and sleep regressions you frantically tried to work out in your sleep deprived and tortured mind what the hell was actually happening and whether this was normal….how could this be normal…? Surely if it was they would have told you about it? But no. Not a whisper. The biggest cover up in the world. Only sleep exhaustion to laugh back at your face.
In between all these horrifying moments come the dizzying magic you were promised. The incredible bond, the smiles, the day to day developments, their turning into a little person. These are the moment everyone promised you – the ones you read about, the ones you saw in the movies, the moment that bringing a new life into this world is all about. But to get to the magic, you have to get through a hell of a lot of hard times. And it’s ok to hate the hard times, and love the magic.
BECAUSE. THIS. IS. NEW. MOTHERHOOD.
For most people at least. And for every new mum reading this I just want you to know….please don’t feel bad or guilty for hating the horrors, because it’s absolutely natural and normal not to love it all, and nobody is going to think any less of you for doing so. Know that yes, new motherhood can be very magical but can also be very horrific at times too.
Have you found new motherhood to be both magical and horrific? Do leave a comment and share and let’s all be real about this stuff!
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