Let’s face it, as stressed out parents, our bedroom experiences are not always the stress-free forays they once were. We have the demands of work, life, parenting thrown into the mix, and sometimes, well…things just don’t go to plan which can leave us feeling all anxious about the big S. And let’s face it, it’s hard to feel sexy when you’re feeling anxious about sex.
Know that laughing during sex is ok
Sometimes weird stuff happens during sex when you finally get round to having it – fact. And you know what? That is ok. Our bodies do weird things, make weird noises, our clothes get stuck. Rather than feel mortified about these moments, the best thing is to have a sense of humour about them instead.
Don’t be afraid to say what you want
There’s nothing worse than having an elephant in the (bed)room and here’s the thing – just because you and your partner have been together donkey’s years doesn’t mean your partner is a mind reader…yes even after all this time! Fretting about what the other person does or doesn’t want in the bedroom is quite frankly, the last thing you need when you’re trying to be intimate. Far better to be open and honest about it – after all, there’s nothing wrong with a little bit of guidance is there?
Make a relaxing environment
Let’s go from feeling really stressed to sexy, said nobody ever. After a bad day, although sex can make you feel a whole lot better, the path towards it might not be so direct. Sometimes we continue to be preoccupied by the troubles of the day which doesn’t exactly help in creating the right mood. You know what they say – fools rush in – so instead take time to wind down with a massage or bath together first if you can and let the troubles of the day escape you first, and that you don’t take any unresolved issues to bed with you.
Focus on pleasure – not the end game
Yes, everybody loves an orgasm, but stressing about whether or not that is going to happen for you does not a sexy mood maketh and can create an ever decreasing circle of sexual anxiety. Instead, be in the moment, because let’s face it, there are lots of other ways of experiencing pleasure in sex as parents apart from just the big O.
Stop being so harsh on yourself
In this life, we are all too critical of ourselves, and that couldn’t be truer for in the bedroom. Stop judging your performance in the bedroom, and just embrace it.
Do you ever feel anxious about sex? What do you to do try to overcome these anxieties? Leave a comment and let me know below…
photo credit: Closeup portrait of adult couple lying on their bed at their apa via photopin (license)