#MyFiveThings by Single Mum Speaks: 5 Things About Being a Single Mum By Choice

Single mum, single mom, parenthood

Welcome to this week’s edition of #MyFiveThings. We hear so many accounts of what it’s like to be a single mum however, how often do we get to hear about what it is like being a single mum by choice? Not very. Well now is your chance as we open up the floor to the lovely Elaine who writes ever so candidly on that very topic on her blog Single Mum Speaks with her five things about being one. 


  1. Once you have a baby, you will suddenly find that you have loads in common with all the coupled-up people who you used to think viewed you as a social outcast, just by virtue of having a small person knocking about. Being a parent is a great social leveller, and you feel as though you have suddenly joined an exclusive club, despite taking a more roundabout route to get there.
  2.  Choosing sperm is like internet dating, but without the job interview-style face to face meeting over coffee or far too many glasses of wine (not that I would drink wine before a job interview, but you get my drift), or the online conversation that seems promising but all-too-frequently ends in the gutter with a disappointing request for a “picture” (or is it just me who is unfortunate in this regard? Maybe this is why I am single. My dating life was riddled with idiots. Which brings me on to my next point….)
  3. Your love life is a distant memory. At times this is a blessed relief (no one to kick the baby out of bed. You can co-sleep until the teenage years should you so wish. Although you won’t, because that would be weird), but other times you find yourself insanely jealous of all those coupled up people who just have it ALL SO EASY. After all, there are two of them, so maybe they can afford a flat, and they can just try for another baby WHENEVER THEY LIKE, instead of being trapped in a never-ending cycle of singledom until their ovaries fall out. I hate them.
  4. Your child will have more siblings than the rest of his class at school put together. Deal with it. There are literally new ones popping up every week, all with faces that are eerily similar to that of your child. They are all over Facebook. They are all over the world. Let’s just hope they don’t meet accidentally and fall in love. Not in that way anyway.
  5. An awkward silence will descend whenever you mention being a single parent, and people will look at you with eyes of great pity, desperate to know how this tragic scenario came about, wondering if they can mention “the father,” but too polite to ask, until you happily trill, “don’t worry! It’s OK, I’m not abandoned. No need to feel sorry for me – I used a sperm donor!” And watch the jaws fall to the floor.

Read more about being a single mum by choice at Single Mum Speaks here and connect on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and Pinterest

Check out some of the previous issues in the #MyFiveThings series here. 



  1. Bloody love this – I love your honesty! I have a friend who also did sperm donoring (is that a term?) this gives me a real insight into how she must feel in some situations. Thanks for sharing this, loved it 🙂 x

  2. Love this! I dont get why people still react so strongly to sperm doners. I know some one who had a child that way and i think its amazing. Deffinetly less hassle than co parenting and parental rights shared etc but ive heard very costly through clinics eek i need to read back on your posts !

  3. Thanks for commenting! Yes it is expensive. I was fairly lucky in that it worked quite quickly for me, but some people spend a lot. Generally in life, there is a tax on being single, from single supplements on holidays to not being able to afford a mortgage on one salary. Being unable to have a baby for free feels like just another part of this tax!

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