An essential guide to online bullying for parents

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Our lives have become inundated with technology, with smartphones being particularly pervasive. The latest research shows that, on average, children receive their first smartphones at the age of 10. By age 12, approximately 50% of children have social media accounts. This means that the need for online bullying awareness and prevention has never been greater.

While smartphones do wonders for connectivity and communication, allowing people of all ages to reach out and interact with each other, it also has a darker side. Cyberbullying is a recent but very serious danger for children who are still figuring out who they are and how they fit in the world. The following pieces of advice can help you navigate the potentially deadly waters of online bullying to ensure your child is protected and educated.

Raise Your Awareness

Prevention starts with awareness. As a parent, you must be aware of what your children and teens are doing online. Learn about the sites they visit, the social media networks they use and their online activity. If you’re not tech savvy, consider taking a class or do some online research about the latest devices, apps and social networks. Nearly 43 percent of children have been bullied online, according to Do Something, and one in four have had it happen more than once.

When you know the specific places where bullying occurs, you’re better equipped to monitor your children’s activity and behaviour. You can also set up parental controls to block certain sites and apps. It may seem like snooping, but as a parent, it’s your job to have an awareness of your child’s activity online.

Know Your Technology

If you allow your children to have a smartphone, a social media account, or become involved in other online platforms, learn how to use them yourself. This offers a win-win opportunity: you gain a better understanding of the platforms your kids are spending their time on. They themselves can be your teachers! By taking an interest in their online world, you can strengthen your relationship while making sure they know what kind of online behaviour to watch out for.

Make the Rules

When it comes to the Internet, you need to make some ground rules. Put the computer in a common area, instead of in your child’s bedroom. Set the rules about when he or she is allowed to use it. If your child has a cell phone, decide a time of night when he or she has to put it away (give it to you), there’s no need for them to keep it in their bedroom.

More than 80 percent of teens use a cell phone on a regular basis, which makes it the most common place for online bullying to occur. You can also set up parental controls for smartphones. If you only want your children to have a phone for emergencies, you can block chat apps and games. Just remember, they will still be able to access these applications on their friends phones when they’re away from home. So talk to your children about their behaviour on smartphones and mobile devices.

You can also set rules about social networks. For example, if your son or daughter has a Facebook account, let them know they need to add you as a friend so you can monitor their activity. They may resist, but tell them it comes with the territory. Remind them not to accept messages from people they don’t know; this includes adding strangers on social networks to increase their friend count. Also, make sure you know the passwords for your children’s accounts. Explain why it’s important to create strong passwords for each online account, and remind your children to never divulge passwords or personal information to anyone online.

Encourage Open Communication

Encourage your children to be open with you about their activity and experience online. Make sure they understand where bullying is likely to occur. If someone has made them feel uncomfortable, they need to know it’s OK to talk to you about it. Many children avoid telling their parents about being bullied online because they fear they will be scolded or reprimanded.

Let them know you’re on their side and encourage them to come to you right away if they feel threatened, bullied or uncomfortable. Make sure your child knows he or she shouldn’t respond or engage with someone who is mean or uses harsh language online. Remind them not to retaliate or sink to the bully’s level.

Keep a Record

If your child is being bullied online, print the emails or take a screenshot of the messages. “The only good news about bullying online or on phones is that it can usually be captured, saved, and shown to someone who can help,” according to Connect Safely. “You can save that evidence in case things escalate.” You can take this record to your child’s school, if the bully is a classmate, or report the incident online.

When you speak to your children about saving records, remind them that their actions online create a paper trail, too. They should always be cautious of how they behave on the Internet, things last forever in cyberspace.

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Respond Thoughtfully, Not Fast

Acting rashly and from a place of pure emotion can actually make things worse for your children. Many cyberbullying experiences involve somebody getting marginalized, which the bully thinks increases their power; if you respond publicly — or if your child’s peers find out about any immediate actions you’ve taken, no matter how discreet — the situation could easily become exacerbated. Any response you take needs to be thoroughly thought out.

Work with your child

Rather than making these decisions on your own, however, you should make sure your child is involved. This will help them regain some of the power and dignity that has been taken away from them. Because bullying is almost always related to school life, it also helps with context; your child will have a better understanding of the problem, which can ensure you get to the root of the problem and come with a realistic and successful solution. Remember, this is about your child’s life; they need to be part of the solution.

Work With Teachers and Administrators

You can keep an eye on things at home but teachers and school administrators can be your eyes and ears during the school day. Communicate with your child’s teacher about their behaviour and any warning signs that he or she may be mistreated or having issues with any other students. Your child’s teacher is also a great resource for which apps, social networks and online games the children are using.

While there’s no way to completely shield your children from the Internet and technology, you can take action to ensure they have a safe, comfortable experience online. What rules do you have on Internet use in your home? Share them with us in the comments below.

Resist The Urge To Punish

It’s easy to seek punishment on the individual who’s been hurting your child, but it’s extremely important to remember that the solution comes first. Children who bully are still children; they too may be hurting, which could explain why they’re acting out. Rather than reacting out of anger and demanding severe consequences, a more measured approach often yields better results.

Online bullying is a terrifying threat. Its inherent insidiousness can leave many parents in the dark over what is happening in their children’s lives. Get involved in your child’s online activities, reassure them that you’re always available to talk, and follow the above tips if they come to your with a cyberbullying problem.

Have your children experienced online bullying in the past? Do share your experiences in a comment below.

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